Children do not always say, “I’m worried.” Their body may speak first. A tummy ache before an event, a headache at bedtime, feeling sick, needing the toilet, tearfulness or sudden anger can all be part of how worry shows up.
Physical symptoms are real. Even when worry is involved, your child is not making them up or being difficult. At the same time, physical symptoms can have many causes, so it is important not to assume that anxiety is the only explanation.
How worry can feel in the body
When we feel worried, the body’s alarm system can become more active. Children and teenagers may notice:
- tummy aches, nausea or changes in toileting
- headaches, tiredness, shakiness or feeling hot and clammy
- a fast heartbeat, tight chest or quicker breathing
- difficulty getting to sleep, waking in the night or bad dreams
- feeling restless, fidgety, clingy, irritable or tearful
- finding it hard to eat, concentrate or make decisions
These signs do not prove that a child is anxious. They are a reason to get curious about what is happening and to take their experience seriously.
Start with belief, not interrogation
It can be tempting to ask lots of questions when you are worried: “What happened?” “Why do you feel sick again?” “Are you worried about school?” For an overwhelmed child, that can make the body feel even more on alert.
“I can see your body is having a hard time. We do not have to figure it all out right now. I’m here with you.”
Once the moment is calmer, you might ask one small, low-pressure question: “Did anything feel tricky before your tummy started hurting?” A child may answer with words, a drawing, a scale, a choice or nothing at all. All of those responses are useful information.
Help your child notice without becoming frightened of the feeling
The aim is not to make children monitor every sensation. It is to help them build a simple, reassuring language for what their body is communicating.
Try: “Your tummy feels wobbly,” rather than telling a child what they must be feeling.
Use a body outline, colours, a 1–5 scale or choices such as “buzzy, tight, heavy or fluttery”.
A drink, a snack, quiet company, fresh air, movement, a familiar activity or slower breathing may help the alarm system settle.
Do symptoms show up around separation, changes, particular places, social demands, bedtime or school mornings?
“This feeling is uncomfortable, but we can help your body through it.”
Keep gentle routines, enjoyable activities and connection in the day. Worry does not need to become the only topic in your relationship.
When reassurance does not seem to help
Reassurance is not wrong. Children often need to know they are safe and not alone. But repeatedly trying to prove that nothing bad will happen can sometimes leave the worry needing more and more reassurance.
Try pairing reassurance with confidence in their ability to cope: “I know this feels big. We can take one small step, and I will stay alongside you.” This does not force a child through something they cannot manage; it keeps the focus on support, safety and manageable next steps.
When to check in with a health professional
Speak with your GP or another appropriate health professional if symptoms are persistent, severe, new, worsening, affecting eating, sleep or everyday life, or if you are unsure what may be causing them. Seek urgent help if a child may be at immediate risk, has severe physical symptoms, or you are seriously concerned about their safety—our urgent help information explains where to start.
A health professional can help rule out physical causes and discuss the right support. You do not have to decide on your own whether a symptom is “physical” or “emotional”.
Related Little Big Minds guidance
- When your child says “I don’t know what’s wrong”
- Emotional shutdowns and meltdowns
- Supporting parents through the wait
- Free resources for big feelings and communication
Trusted further reading
- NHS: anxiety in children
- NHS: anxiety disorders in children
- YoungMinds: supporting a child with anxiety
This is general information and is not a diagnosis or a replacement for individual medical advice.
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