The behaviour you can see may be the outside of a nervous system that has reached capacity.
What is a meltdown?
A meltdown is an involuntary response to overwhelm. It may involve crying, shouting, pacing, repetitive movement, trying to escape or losing control of behaviour. The person is not using distress to obtain a particular outcome; their ability to regulate has temporarily been overwhelmed.
What is a shutdown?
A shutdown turns the distress inward. A person may become still, quiet, unable to answer, unable to move or desperate to hide away. Because shutdowns can look less disruptive, they are sometimes missed—but the internal distress can still be intense.
What helps during the moment
Lower voices, dim lights where possible and move away from crowds, demands or unnecessary conversation.
Short reassurance such as “You’re safe. I’m here” may be easier to process.
Give physical space, avoid an audience and remove hazards. Prioritise immediate safety and seek professional help when needed.
Recovery takes time
Afterwards, the person may feel exhausted, sore, embarrassed or unable to talk about what happened. Offer water, rest and familiar comfort. Save problem-solving for later.
A difficult moment is not the time to teach a lesson. Safety and regulation come first.
Reduce the load before the next crisis
Look for early signs such as withdrawing, increased stimming, repeated questions, irritability, covering ears or losing access to speech. Adjusting sensory demands, expectations and transitions earlier may prevent overwhelm from escalating.
Trusted further reading
- Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust: meltdowns and shutdowns
- Autism Space: anxiety in autistic people
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