Sometimes the hardest part is realising that, unless you make the call, nobody checks in.
You might spend the day arranging support, explaining your teenager’s needs or helping them recover from overwhelm. Then the evening arrives, and there is nobody to tell how it felt for you.
This will not describe every family. But if it feels familiar, your need for connection deserves attention too.
Feeling unseen can hurt
Perhaps relatives ask about school but never about your wellbeing. Perhaps somebody with similar family experience has not offered the understanding you hoped for. You may find yourself rehearsing explanations, then deciding you are too tired to give them again.
We cannot know why another person stays quiet. They may be unsure what to say, distracted or struggling themselves. Even so, the absence of contact can hurt. You can acknowledge that hurt without having to settle the whole relationship today.
YoungMinds describes loneliness, exhaustion and self-doubt among the experiences parents share when supporting a young person’s mental health. Its guidance includes peer support and speaking with a professional, as well as looking after yourself.
Your teenager is not the problem
The loneliness may sit around your family: inaccessible activities, a lack of practical help, repeated misunderstandings or support systems that are difficult to navigate. Your teenager deserves acceptance, and you deserve support with the demands you are carrying.
“I love my child. I need someone to care about how I’m doing too.”
Try one small, specific request
The following are Little Big Minds suggestions. Choose one that feels possible; you do not need to turn getting support into another long task list.
“Things have been quite heavy lately. Could you message me on Thursday and ask how I’m doing?”
“I don’t need advice right now. Could you listen for ten minutes?”
“Could you pick up a few groceries this week?” A request can support you without asking your teenager to tolerate an unfamiliar person or situation.
A clear request may help somebody respond. It cannot guarantee that they will. If a person repeatedly dismisses you, you can limit how much you share and look elsewhere for steadier support.
Connection can be quiet
You do not have to build a big friendship group. A brief exchange with one understanding parent, a small group or an online conversation may suit you better.
The National Autistic Society offers an online community with spaces for parents and carers. YoungMinds also points parents towards local SEND parent carer forums. These can be places to explore; you do not have to post or tell your whole story.
Choose spaces where autistic and other neurodivergent young people are spoken about respectfully. Protect your teenager’s privacy: seek consent where possible and avoid names, identifying details or intimate accounts of their distress. Peer experiences are not a substitute for individual professional advice.
Make room for your own health
If low mood, anxiety, sleep difficulties or exhaustion are affecting daily life, speak to your GP about your own needs. You can say: “I’m supporting my teenager, and I’m struggling myself.”
NHS guidance suggests telling your GP about your caring role and asking about local support. If you care for a disabled child, your council can also explain how your needs as a parent carer can be assessed. Support depends on your circumstances and local arrangements.
A quiet pause, music or an enjoyable activity may offer some breathing space. These do not replace practical help. You deserve care even when you cannot make everything feel better yourself.
If you need help urgently, visit our urgent-help page.
Trusted support and further reading
- YoungMinds: looking after your mental health as a parent, including peer support and Parents Helpline information
- National Autistic Society: online community for autistic people and families
- NHS: support for parent carers and families of children with complex needs
Related Little Big Minds guidance
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